Thunder

All I'm saying is it is possible to love at different levels… But… When you find real love… You find fulfillment… You find completion… And… When you want more… There is more… Where you both thirst and feed off each other… And the only way to fill that void is to have more of each other… The passion never fades… It is an addiction of the mind, body and soul… It's just continued growth… When 2 becomes 1… An unbreakable bond…

She wasn’t perfect… She wasn’t flawless… But I told her she had a glow… I told her she brought light to my life… She couldn't hear it though… Her mistakes of the past made her unable to accept compliments… Made her hesitate and second guess her wants and needs… Because she had fallen before… She gave all of herself… Gave her time, energy and love… And in return her ex used her and left her… So even though she was attracted and wanted more… Wanted to believe… Wanted to fall… She held back… She promised herself she wouldn't give herself to me… Because if she gave in tonight… Would it be the same tomorrow?... See, she wasn't in love but she knew she could fall in love again… It put fear in her heart… And… She knew if she continued she was on the path of true love or her destruction…

She wore a big sweater… So big that you could see her bra strap on one side… Then some really short jean shorts… Face like something painted by a famed artist… No makeup really… But I confess I just may not have been able to tell… She just was… She was 100 percent real… From her actions to her words… It was like a conversation without a condom… It was all raw, no filter, nothing held back… We sat in the garage… She had just quit smoking weed so she sucked on a vape pen… She saw the skateboard… She asked if I could skate… I said I used to… She asked me to show her how… I said fuck no… She grabbed the skateboard and tried it anyway… She almost fell… We both laughed… She put the skateboard back… She sat back down by me… She inhaled and exhaled from the vape pen… I said “I would have sent you home if you fell.” She laughed “No you wouldn't have!”... I said “Yeah, I would have! No doubt. You would have lost all your cool points!”... She laughed and said “Cool points?!” I turned to her and kissed her… Just a quick peck on the lips… She stopped smiling… We stood and went back inside…

Ice in a plastic cup… A little bit of orange juice and a couple shots of vodka… We sipped… We sat on the couch for a couple hours… Just talking and she shared her life story… She told me she had been in love before… But looking back she should have known better… That he was kind of a player… She said he had taught her the game though… So she didn't really fall for games any more… She said it was a toxic relationship but she was glad she went through it… She said he didn't really beat her or physically abuse her but she lost all of her confidence when she was with him… He knew the exact words to break her… And he would hurt her emotionally for no reason at all… He did it just to do it… He lied… He used… He cheated… And yet she still believed in him and loved him… But then one day she said… He was drunk and throwing up on himself… He passed out… She went through his phone and found out he was texting her friend… She said usually she would clean up his mess but… Seeing him laying there drunk, throw up all over himself and all sick.. She could see how truly ugly he was… She instantly fell out of love… Like she could finally see him for who he was… He begged and begged for her to give him another chance but she had woken up… They still saw each other every now and then around town through mutual friends… But for the most part she was living her life and her ex was on his own still drinking and being a player… She said the feelings were gone… Except she still had anger towards herself for being so foolish… She asked about me… I told her I just travel and write… And that my past… Was something I just never really talked about… She laughed and said “Why do you have to be so mysterious?”... I just smiled… She moved closer to me… She kissed me…

She said… She wanted to show me something… Do me a favor… She kissed her way down… She offered her mouth… I accepted her offer… I allowed myself to zone out… I let her take center stage… She accepted the spotlight… She was focused and yet every now and then she looked up to allow me to see her eyes… She wanted to make sure I was watching… I paid for her act… I paid her with my love… She opened her mouth and showed the result… Eyes up looking at me… Then she swallowed and smiled… She gave one last stroke and licked the tip… Kissed the head… She got up… She kissed me on the cheek… She sat down next to me… Then she laid her head on my lap… And she said “Tell me a story till I fall asleep”... And I told her the story of her life with my own additions… She fell asleep… I fell asleep…

Best friends forever lol… Best friends… We texted each other all day the next day… And the days after… For days… I couldn't stop smiling… And I could feel her smile through each word in the texts… She told me about her constant lust… She hated herself for being so shy and yet so lustful for sexual climax… She said she enjoyed making herself climax… She told me that's why she kept her nails short… She just couldn’t stop playing with herself… I told her to show me… She sent a video… And I told her I owed her… And the favor would be repaid… She said she wanted to have sex with me but she didn’t want to give all of herself the first date… I told her I had a perfect night and that I lusted for all of her… But I understood that she had been hurt in the past… So I would never put pressure on her… She said “Really”... I said “I got you… No doubt… No rush…”... She sent me an emoji… And she sent a snapchat of her smiling with her glasses on… I sent back a pic of me with dog ears… I said “No filter. I promise.” …

Our next date was on a Sunday… We showed up to a random church… We sat in the back… And as the choir sang… I whispered in her ear that my dick was hard… She smiled… And pushed me away… After the choir stopped singing… We sat and listened to the preacher… She leaned over and grabbed my hand… She put my hand between her legs and I could feel the heat… Could feel she was wet… She smiled… And we sat there but the sound of the preacher and the crowd seemed to disappear… It was like nothing existed… Just my thoughts of her… I felt like God was laughing at my sin… Like he was laughing and enjoying his child… Enjoying his child, me, sitting next to one of his Angels and being lost… We left the church… The plan was to go eat… But as I drove she grabbed my hand… And showed me that she was still wet… I pulled into a housing area… Construction of new homes being built… I drove all the way to the back… Parked facing away from the workers… And she climbed over… We kissed… And we confessed our lust for each other… That first feeling… Of her with her hand on me… As she sat down and I felt her open up and tighten around me… Blessings on blessings… She rode me slow… Up and down with a slight thrust forward every time I was completely inside her… I tried to keep myself from finishing until I knew she had… And when I heard her moan louder and increase her rhythm… I knew it was time… And we climaxed together…

Late a few nights later… At like 2am… I texted her that I was feeling her… That I didn’t love her but that I could love her… That I was falling for her… She didn’t respond… I thought maybe I had made a mistake and that my texts had put too much pressure on her… 30 minutes later… There was a knock on my door… I grabbed the pistol and peaked through the window… Then I rushed to open the door… As soon as I opened it… She put her head on my chest and I wrapped her in my arms… She was crying hysterically… I just held her… I moved the hair out of her face… Wiped her tears away but she kept crying… I walked her to the couch… And as she told me… I just held her… I just listened… She said she hated me… She hated herself… She cried more and then said “But I love you.”... I kissed her and we spent the rest of the night with no words… Just me holding her… Showing her… That I was there… And I would always be there…